Thursday, December 02, 2004
Read This Carefully
Please read carefully and pay attention, as the title advises, because I'm not going to say this again, and I'm sick of being misread or misinterpreted or whatever.
1. Nowhere on my blog does it say that people who get engaged quickly are losers. Nowhere on my blog do I take issue with people who get involved quickly. I take issue with a particular loser (who did not work for two of the three years we were together while I did work, who never bothered to get his car after it had been towed and so it was sold at auction, and who didn't pay taxes for at least 4 years, if you question what I mean by "loser"). And I feel completely justified in feeling a little hurt over the fact that he got married so quickly after we broke up and I don't feel the need to be compassionate or understanding or whatever the fuck some people seem to think that I should feel about it.
2. My mother's comment was general, but I quoted it because to me it shows exactly why I love my mom. She didn't baby me or tell me it would be ok as if my life was over because he had moved on or imply that I made a mistake for letting the relationship end. She said exactly the funny thing that made me put things into perspective. And yeah, it's a generalization, and yeah, all generalizations are totalizing or whatever, but come on! It was fucking funny! Have a sense of humor, people!
3. In my experience, people who go from relationship to relationship (and I'm not talking about dating around - I'm talking about from serious thing to serious thing) with little-to-no time for self-reflection tend to have a problem with being on their own. Just saying. Of course there must be an exception or two, but that doesn't mean the tendency isn't there. And if you can't be by yourself for long enough to analyze what you might have done wrong in your last relationship (and of course that time can vary and who the fuck am I to say how long that time should be), the chances of the next relationship being awesome are pretty slim. So if that opinion makes some of my readers think that I'm insecure or jealous or whatever, and if because that is how they perceive my opinion they then feel defensive or offended, well, there's not much I can do about that.
4. I am not a bitter, jealous "older" singleton who doesn't want anybody else to be happy in a relationship. In fact, I'm a hell of a lot happier (at 30) than I was when I was in a relationship (at 28) and so I have an easier time being happy for others, whether they are in relationships or not. I think my post was an honest response to the news that I got. And at the end of the day, it had absolutely nothing to do with anybody but me.
5. End of discussion on this issue. I'm over the thing about my ex. Have been for like a week. I think, perhaps, that some in the blogosphere took the news harder than I did.
1. Nowhere on my blog does it say that people who get engaged quickly are losers. Nowhere on my blog do I take issue with people who get involved quickly. I take issue with a particular loser (who did not work for two of the three years we were together while I did work, who never bothered to get his car after it had been towed and so it was sold at auction, and who didn't pay taxes for at least 4 years, if you question what I mean by "loser"). And I feel completely justified in feeling a little hurt over the fact that he got married so quickly after we broke up and I don't feel the need to be compassionate or understanding or whatever the fuck some people seem to think that I should feel about it.
2. My mother's comment was general, but I quoted it because to me it shows exactly why I love my mom. She didn't baby me or tell me it would be ok as if my life was over because he had moved on or imply that I made a mistake for letting the relationship end. She said exactly the funny thing that made me put things into perspective. And yeah, it's a generalization, and yeah, all generalizations are totalizing or whatever, but come on! It was fucking funny! Have a sense of humor, people!
3. In my experience, people who go from relationship to relationship (and I'm not talking about dating around - I'm talking about from serious thing to serious thing) with little-to-no time for self-reflection tend to have a problem with being on their own. Just saying. Of course there must be an exception or two, but that doesn't mean the tendency isn't there. And if you can't be by yourself for long enough to analyze what you might have done wrong in your last relationship (and of course that time can vary and who the fuck am I to say how long that time should be), the chances of the next relationship being awesome are pretty slim. So if that opinion makes some of my readers think that I'm insecure or jealous or whatever, and if because that is how they perceive my opinion they then feel defensive or offended, well, there's not much I can do about that.
4. I am not a bitter, jealous "older" singleton who doesn't want anybody else to be happy in a relationship. In fact, I'm a hell of a lot happier (at 30) than I was when I was in a relationship (at 28) and so I have an easier time being happy for others, whether they are in relationships or not. I think my post was an honest response to the news that I got. And at the end of the day, it had absolutely nothing to do with anybody but me.
5. End of discussion on this issue. I'm over the thing about my ex. Have been for like a week. I think, perhaps, that some in the blogosphere took the news harder than I did.
