Monday, November 08, 2004


Signing Off in Order to TCB

I just composed a big, long, detailed post about my relationship issues, but I don't think I feel comfortable posting it - at least not yet. I fear that I come off as completely fucked up, and while I realize that I may already come off that way, this might really make you all evaluate me as a complete lunatic instead of a slightly crazy person. Suffice it to say that at the bottom of my freaking out re: Freud is a) the fear of the intimacy that runs along side the fear of relationships failing, all probably a result of my parents' divorce and b) the fear that I'm completely misreading things with Freud and that he's not into me at all but that I want him to be into me (even though the idea that he could be freaks me out). It will all just have to work itself out in some fashion in the coming week or two. I'm not going to push it or to analyze it further (ha! or so I hope!).

Now it's time for me to get my shit together for my classes this week (handed back a buttload of papers today so just need to do a little more to get my desk cleared off) and eat some soup and rest (to stave off cold I fear I'm coming down with). I'm choosing to be as methodical as possible about all work this week so that I will feel like I'm getting things accomplished (and also so that I can use my obsessive-compulsive energy that has been channelled through Freud for good (work) and not for being a boy-crazy fool (evil) ). At any rate, I'm sure the Freud saga is not over, so I will keep you posted (as bored as I'm sure many of you are). Oh, an interesting piece of information gleaned on Saturday: Freud's prior cat (whom he lost to his ex-girlfriend) was named - you guessed it - Freud. No, I am not making this up. And yes, I do have psychic powers (hee!).

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