Monday, November 01, 2004


Has the Suspense Been Killing You?

I know it was very cruel for me to post my cryptic while graphic update Saturday morning and not to follow up with a fuller post. All I can say in my own defense is that 1) I had only had approximately 2 hours of sleep, 2) I was still wearing my clothes from the night before and my medusa-like hair was inefficiently in a bun/pony-tail on top of my head, 3) my bra was in my purse, 4) I managed to go North instead of South for like 10 minutes before realizing I was heading in the wrong direction when leaving Freud's house because I was in such a state and had to turn around and retrace my steps in order to get where I was going, 5) I was in a general state of discombobulation, which seemingly required me to broadcast my antics while also failing to give a full account of what produced those antics, and 6) I had just finished doing job app. stuff, which leaves one in a somewhat giddy state.

So anyway, the update is basically that Freud called me Friday night (as I had told him to do Wednesday when he had begged me to come over and I - sensibly, for once - refused). I wasn't convinced that I even wanted to go out, but then I thought of my whoreoscope for the day, the fact that I hadn't been out in a while, the fact that I've been spending almost all of my time with my cat... At any rate, I was convinced. So, the night went a little something like this.

1. Went to Freud's house (because he's a 16-yr-old girl who keeps track of who makes the effort to drive the 10 minutes to the other most recently). Hung out there, he explained that he's decided not to go on the academic market and blabbed about his dissertation (which I do not understand) and we talked about a variety of topics, including the gay marriage - and no, I don't know how we got from his dissertation to that.
2. We decided to go to a nearby watering whole to get a drink after like an hour or two, and I drove his car (not sure why that was decided, but I like to drive his car because it's a big grandpa-mobile). He put on an Indigo Girls CD and I had an excellent time singing along - strangely unembarassed to be doing this in front of him. Odd. We got to the bar, ordered drinks, were there for a bit when he called up his friend with whom I made out (see the Pushing the Limits of Spontaneous Combustion post). So he tells me after the fact that he did this, and I look at him blankly. I say, "what exactly do you expect me to say to that? Am I supposed to be freaked out?" "I don't know. Are you?" replies Freud. I respond, "No. I'm not. If you're trying to get some sort of reaction, you should know by now that I'm not going to rise to the bait on something like this. I thought that we had hashed this whole thing out and it was over with." "Well, it is. But if he shows up tonight, will you promise not to do anything with him?" asks Freud. I say, "Uh, yeah. Sure." (The friend showed up for about a second-and-a-half, and it was totally uneventful. But what the fuck was up with Freud and the testing of my fidelity or whatever the fuck that was supposed to be?)
3. We go back to his house, where he decides to make food. He wants me to stay up while he makes the food, and I tell him that I will while crawling into the bed of Freud and intermittently snoozing between his asking me if I'm sleeping and me denying it.
4. Well, you know what happens next. It was really quite awesome. I'm slightly concerned at how awesome and what that might mean.

The further update is that for the first time ever (in the entire time since the end of July since we've begun this odd thing that we're doing) Freud gave me a follow-up call Saturday night. He has never given me the follow-up call - in fact, the protocol has generally been for him not to call for at least one week and then when he finally does call to ask me out for coffee (which, by the way, is now some sort of joke between us - don't like having the inside joke with him). And, during the course of the follow-up call, we had a kind of state of the nation talk about what it is we're doing with one another (outcome: we're "playing it by ear," which, of course, is what I've been doing all along, but when he announced it I began to fear that he means something different than I mean about that.... dunno). I don't know. Totally freaked out by the follow-up call and what is going on with the Freud situation. Perhaps shall avoid him for a few weeks and focus on work. But don't quite know whether I have the determination to do that.... Very confusing.

So, this was my weekend. Kitty woke me up by chasing his tail on top of me this morning (which I actually sort of liked, as it was joyous chasing of the tail) and I have to prep for my class in 25 minutes because I did no work other than job app stuff this weekend (because I'm an asshole).

I guess that's all for now. More later? Hard to know....

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