Friday, September 17, 2004


Instead of Grading

I have spent the past two hours doing... not a hell of a lot. The question is, why didn't I just leave at 11 a.m. if I wasn't going to get anything accomplished here? It is hard to know why I do the things I do, but I suspect that it's because I don't feel like going to the grocery store and cleaning up my house.

In other news, much of the past two hours has been spent looking at job ads. I think (maybe) that I will apply for four jobs. I suspect that I will not even get the tiniest nibble from any of them, but these four do fit the criteria that I had established could inspire me potentially to leave RCU. After looking at the job ads, I did some emailing, and then I decided to calculate cost-of-living differences between my current location and other places. Here's a fun fact: in order to maintain my current standard of living if I were to move to Boston, I would have to make anywhere from 25-50K more than I do now. Just to have the same crappy lifestyle I currently have. This is astonishing to me because I lived in Boston during graduate school and I thought that I was just poor and irresponsible. It turns out that I was actually poor but quite frugal. No wonder most of the people I know who still live there seem to have some kind of family money.

So yes, I think that I'm still hanging around in my office in part because of slight anxiety related to sending out job application materials. As much as I sensibly expect to get rejected if I do apply for these jobs, emotionally I really have a ton of hope that at least I'd get an invitation for an interview. Why do this to myself? Why go through all of this trouble potentially to get absolutely nothing but rejection out of it? That said, I really don't want to be here next fall when Dr. E starts fucking the new t-t person that materializes from this year's search. It's creepy enough that I've had conversations today with both the New Girl and Dr E's First-Department-Fuck - one more and I might explode into flames.

And, who am I kidding? I'm ambitious. I don't want to sell myself short by not trying to make a move. And if that attempt fails, at least I know that I'm not selling myself short, right? That's a good thing to know. And I'm going to be at the interviewing convention anyway, so why not just take the chance and see? It's not like I'll have to pay for the trip if I do get called for an interview.

Ok, well, enough of this. I'm going to blow off grading, go home and work on job search stuff for a while, then clean up and do the grocery store. Dr. G's coming over to meet the lion-kitty tonight and to have dinner and drinks, so that will be fun, and then tomorrow I can spend the day working in some fashion and channeling all of the energy that I used to expend on Stupid Freud and Stupid Dr. E into becoming Uber-Dr.-Crazy.

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