Monday, August 23, 2004

 

Back in the Saddle (Sigh)

I teach my first class of the semester in 40 minutes. I do not want to teach my first class of the semester. I want it to be summer, and I want to have no accountability to students. I know you all feel my pain, so I will stop moaning now and move on to more interesting topics.

First, I noticed the small controversy in comments between Eureka and Sharleen, and while I don't want to fan the flames of disagreement I do want to weigh in. I think all of us here are feminists and obviously we would disagree with any insinuation that women should spend their lives waiting around for men, etc., as their one true purpose in the world. That said, I'm going to say a completely un-PC thing and say this: I've been busy being an independent, self-sufficient woman for 7 of the last 10 years. I've got a full and rich life, great friends, and all of those things that are supposed to make having a boyfriend (or even just a boy-toy) unnecessary. And still, there is this ugly truth: I like male attention. I want it. And on the last Friday night before my life was about to transform into its academic-year-monastic-mode, I didn't feel like working out or having a nice time socializing with colleagues, going to a movie, or even going out with my friend Naomi. I wanted to be with a boy who (even if only in my imagination) is interested in me as a female person. Maybe that makes me a bad feminist or a hypocrite or mystified or whatever. But hell, why is it so wrong to want affection and attention in one's life if one is single? Why is it "pathetic" for a woman to seek romantic attention from men when for men it's entirely accepted that they would seek that kind of attention? (And yes, I know there is the whole problem that men face later if they actually start dating somebody about being "pussy-whipped" but I'm not talking about relationships here - I'm talking about being single and wanting a conquest or to be the conquest of somebody - a different thing.)

Ok, I've got to get ready to teach, as I don't really know what I'm going to say. When I return, I shall fill you in on the bizarre events of my weekend. It's all very, very confusing.


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