The Chronicles of Dr. Crazy

1.  I actually laughed at Al Gore's jokes.  I mean, sure, he was a pathetic loser talking about the fact that he was a pathetic loser, which generally does make me laugh, but I don't think I laughed at him once throughout the 2000 campaign.  My favorite Gore joke-y line:

"But you know the old saying -- you win some, you lose some. And then there's that little-known third category."

2.  That Hardball Guy is a dispshit.

3.  All of the pundits kept talking about how great Jimmy Carter's speech was.  I know the guy's 81, so the fact that he's up and about is amazing in and of itself, but I have a confession to make: I found him boring.

4.  Hillary rocks.  But she is a little abrasive as a public speaker.  (This quality may have to do with her midwestern accent.  I seem to remember feeling the same way about Kucinich when he was still running.  When was the last time we had a midwesterner in the whitehouse?  Taft?  McKinley?  Maybe I'm just overly accustomed to the dulcet tones of southerners....)

5.  Bill Clinton.  I love this man.  He is sort of like Richard Hatch when he was on the first survivor, only not naked and thus less disgusting - we know the guy is tricky and slimy and all of those politician things, but he so clearly loves being those things and he's so good at it that you can't help but be taken in by him and to respect him.  He is a politician's politician.  And he gives one hell of a speech.

The Postgame Shows:

1.  Tim Russert and Tom Brokaw interviewing John Stewart on the post-game show on MSNBC was one of the most awkward and bizarre things I've seen in my life.  John Stewart kept making all of these jokes and neither of the T's seemed to get them.  It made me uncomfortable, honestly.

2.  On the CNN postgame show, Larry King had two of the regular kind of pundits (that guy from Crossfire, and some other guy, too) but then he combined them on a panel with Al Sharpton (ok, so he was a presidential candidate) and Ben Affleck.  Yes, you read that right.  I am not joking.  And then, he actually jumped into the fray with the real pundit guys and it was revealed that Ben Affleck is actually NOT entirely stupid.  Who knew?  I know I sure as hell didn't.

3.  You know who else didn't know that Ben Affleck wasn't entirely stupid?  A female caller from Boston (I sadly don't know her name).  Here is my re-enactment of the call:

Caller: "Hi, Larry.  Welcome to Boston.    I have a question for Ben.  You have been so intelligent, ahticulate, and chaaahming tonight [she says with a tone of surprise not unlike my own].  Would you ever consider running for office, maybe even president?"

Ben: "Well, first of all, thank you, although I'm never sure how to take it that people are surprised that I'm not an idiot. [ And he goes on, but that's not really very interesting and I don't remember what he went on about.]"

4.  In a related moment of Larry King Live, the following interchange transpired, which I will re-enact for you here.  I think this might have been one of the funniest moments I've seen on TV this year:

Larry: "So, Ben, why is it that so many Hollywood types seem to support the Democratic Party and Democratic candidates but they don't run for office?  The entertainers who've run for office and gotten elected, like Sonny Bono, Ronald Reagan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Shirley Temple Black, are all republicans.  Why do you think that is?"

Ben: [Evasive answer about Hollywood having people of all parties and bla bla bla not interesting bla bla bla.  Nevertheless, a very political and savvy answer in that he didn't say anything that would offend anybody.]

Al Sharpton: "I'll tell you why that is, Larry.  It's because the Republicans who ran for office had to change careers because their careers in Hollywood were washed up.  That's why they ran for office.  Because they weren't any good.  Now the Democrats are good entertainers."

Ok, so that is my recap of Night One of the Democratic National Convention.  Stay tuned for further reports, in which I will address topics like hairstyles, outfits, and entertainment.